- Hi... - Hi.
How are you feeling, Karsten?
I feel like shit.
Why don't you stop this drinking?
- You can't control it. - I'll never drink again.
Can you explain why?
I don't know.
I drank a lot, smoked cigars... Then it's all blank.
I don't know what happened.
You set a car on fire because you were drunk.
The car was an accident.
Cigars and Sambuca don't go well together.
But I was jaloux.
- Jaloux? - Yes.
- You mean jealous? - Yes.
You're sleeping with someone at work.
I am?
Cut it out, Jonna.
I heard you talking to Lotta.
You were in the bathroom and I was standing outside.
But you can't seriously believe I'm having an affair?
Is that what you're saying?
For fuck's sake...
Stop lying and tell the truth.
You said we no longer have sex
and... you found a solution.
A solution.
Yes. I satisfy my sexual needs with this.
- Is that your solution? - Yes.
No way!
No!
You got pissed and set a car on fire because you were jealous?
Yeah, that fucking car...
Do you realize how much it'll cost?
There must be an insurance.
I have a manager called Vinny. It's a long story.
I love you so much!
- You idiot! - I'm sorry, Jonna. I'm so sorry!
- You must forgive me. - I love you so much.
You know...
Believe it or not, your little stunt actually turned me on.
What are you saying?
- Did it make you horny? - Yes.
What are you doing?
Look at my kitty.
That's one ugly cat.
- Ugly? - Yes, ugly!
My cat's not ugly! Little kitty...
That's an ugly cat.
You only say that because your boyfriend is allergic to cats.
Yes, and just because he's allergic, he loves fur.
Too bad I'm clean- shaven.
I think men allergic to dogs and cats are the biggest turn- off ever.
- Yeah, maybe so. They are. - Aren't they?
Fuck.
Suzy, what's this smell?
- It smells like curry. - My armpit smells like curry!
- You should have it checked. - What the fuck!
Have it checked. It's not normal.
I know. I need to have it checked.
Hey, guys. How are you?
Yeah, I know. Listen. I've been working on it, OK?
I've been trying to sell as much of this stuff as I can.
No... No, no, no, no, no, no.
I can't do that job! You don't understand.
I know I said I'd do anything but not just that. OK?
Get someone else!
You got to be fucking kidding me.
I can't do that!
Fuck, man!
That was amazing, darling.
You can kiss your friend goodbye.
Yeah.
I found it at the property I'm selling.
What do you mean?
Did you steal it, Jonna?
You're a naughty little girl.
I have to go now.
- I have tons of houses to sell. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I love you. Do you know that? - I love you too.
Don't set any more cars on fire now.
Good.
What the fuck!
Wille, what the fuck do you think you're doing?
Come here!
What the fuck are you doing? Are you peeping through our window?
Our bedroom window? That's not OK!
I'm sorry, but I just wanted to make sure you're OK.
I heard about the car.
If I'm OK? Are you OK in here?
- In your head? - Yeah, I'm OK.
But I'm not OK! That's perverse!
You're peeping into our bedroom, you follow me to Copenhagen...
But why are you so angry?
It's me! Wille! I'm your friend.
I'm not your friend, Wille! I'm not your friend!
Goddammit! Get out of here!
What about our movie nights?
We're meeting at Bosse's tonight!
- And they all miss you! - I don't give a shit about it!
It was one of the most tedious nights of my life!
It bored the shit out of me!
Now get the fuck out of here, you fat piece of pork!
Just leave!
On your way! Get out of here!
- Dad has lost his mind. - Yes.
Bullshit game!
- Thank God you're relaxed. - What?
- Relax, will you? - You relax!
- Cut it out. - Isn't that him?
- Which one? - The fat one.
Yep, seems to be the guy.
My name is AÅke Liljegren.
- OK, good. Get in the car. - OK.
I'm right behind him...
- Do you like him? - Idiot!
- So flirt with him. - Shut up!
- I'm sure you'd be successful. - I said shut up!
I can speak French too, you know.
Good day.
Good evening.
Do you want to sleep with me?
- Seriously? - Yes, she wants!
In Sweden, I'm a very important man.
I'm rich.
- Yeah. - I told you to have a go.
What?
- I have lots of pigs in Sweden. - You see.
- I make bacon, you know. - Mr. Pig.
Cutlets, meatballs...
- I'm a businessman. - Great. Want some?
No, no, no. I don't smoke.
We don't smoke in cars in Sweden. It's forbidden.
You know... In restaurants too.
I heard that you have very good foods here in Belgium.
Clams? Mussels?
- If he brings up French fries I'll punch him.
- They say you have the best beer in the world. Is that true? - Yeah.
Could you recommend some beers to me?
- You can go everywhere. We're in Belgium.
Maybe a farmer's mart? Are we there soon?
- OK, Mr. Pig. - Yes?
No? Why not?
Yes. Yes, I know.
But I am also a businessman.
And I have many strings on my, um...
What's the name? Lyra? You know, Cornelis Vreeswijk?
I want to invest lots of money in your mother's milk.
Please, can't we stop this paper game
and talk normally to each other?
Do you know who I am?
Yes...
But in Sweden I am a very important man!
I can sell your product all over Scandinavia!
I have contacts which you could never dream of!
Do this now!
I need your product!
You need me!
I won't leave this office before we have a deal!
What the hell...
Open up! Open up!
Goddamn bastards!
I'll come back, you know!
I will destroy you! You bastards!
What the fuck are you looking at? Fucking Belgian dimwits.
- Hi there! - Hey.
It's been a tough few days. It's...
- What's wrong? - It's nothing.
- Are you OK? - Yeah, I'm fine.
Just let me know if there's anything I can do.
- I'm fine, Suzy. - Sure?
I'm taking a long bath.
- Let me know if you need me. - Yeah. Yeah.
OK.
It's not easy, is it?
You're fucking kidding, right?
I didn't mean to do it.
There must be a solution. The gasoline hose or something.
With a fancy car like that, you must be insured.
Just say it was stolen by someone who set it on fire.
You don't get it. The car belonged to Bjarne.
Bjarne is the boss of Puta Madre.
Puta what?
Puta Madre! Bikers! What the fuck do you call them?
This is a big problem! They're real bad motherfuckers.
Fuck.
Yeah, fuck.
We're in real deep shit, you and me.
No.
I'm not in deep shit. You are.
You set the car on fire.
- You fucking owe big time. - You lent me an incendiary car.
I'm not the one who set it on fire with a homemade Sambuca bomb.
- Karsten. Got a minute? - Yeah, sure.
Hi, Bjarne. It's Vincent.
I have a small problem...
You fucking dumb- ass!
I don't give a shit about your friend's sorry excuse!
Next time I'll shatter your kneecaps!
I'm so sorry. It wasn't my fault.
What the fuck? Are you crying?
Take it easy, Batman.
It had all kinds of insurances. End of story.
- I owe you big! - What?
I'm fucking with you! I had you! I fucking love you, Vinny.
- Wait, you're not angry? - No, I was joking!
I'm glad to be rid of that shitty wreck.
The clutch was a fucking nightmare.
OK...
You motherfucker...
I could marry you!
Let's have a party with tons of babes and booze.
It'll be a good night.
- OK. - I was fucking with you. Calm down.
Motherfucker.
Hey, hey!
Yeah, OK...
And then...
Ouch!
Before going on set I thought we could do some warm- up exercises.
Alright? Let's get up.
Lene, you need to be more flexible.
Our body is our instrument. We need to make it ready.
- Right, to the barre. - Yes.
Alright? Just do what I do.
OK, let me see.
Good! One more time. Tess, stick your butt in.
Alright! Let's do a grand plié
followed by a glissade and a grand jeté.
Go!
Grand slittage...
Yeah?
- How did it go? - Not good.
We should have warmed up before.
You should have told me before you had me jump.
Is he pissed off?
He just doesn't like being told what to do.
- Well, let's go on. - OK.
OK? Pas de chat.
Ready? Here we go.
God, she's such a workhorse, isn't she?
God bless her little mermaid ass.
Turn that off. Can you please turn that off?
That's porn. That's what we're working on here.
The great director doesn't approve?
It's grotesque. Can you not see that?
- What, is this your first DP? - My first what?
Double penetration. My God, you've never seen one before?
Can I talk to you, Karsten?
What are we gonna do with my scene?
You can do whatever you fucking want.
But it's not going to be in Cum- Tiki, that's for damn sure!
Mama's boy!
We have a big fucking problem.
What?
The car wasn't insured.
- It wasn't insured? - Nope.
But seriously!
It's stupid to have a car like that and not insure it!
- That's just stupid. - It's a long story.
It was imported from Germany.
It was supposed to stay here in the studio!
- So now what? - Don't know.
Not my problem. You solve it.
You owe a million or two. I don't know how much it is.
I wouldn't want to owe him a couple of million.
Bjarne is such a motherfucker. He's a biker, got it?
What the hell are you trying to say? I owe a couple of million
to some people riding motorcycles?
What the hell will I do?
Well...
I think I know one thing that could maybe...
help you.
What's that?
I think this is...
This is so fucked up!
I would like to commit hara- kiri, tear out my intestines,
- and feed them to the polar bears at the zoo. - No, no, Karsten.
Tonight you'll be back with your family, eating chips in front of the TV.
But how can they ask you to do this?
Where do you meet these people?
You don't want to know. You don't want to know.
Those Belgian brothers are crooks!
They don't know who they're dealing with!
Goddammit! Goddammit!
Look at me! Look me in the eyes!
- What will you do now? - I will strike back!
I will strike back, goddammit!
Bravo, my love! I get goosebumps when you're brave like this!
I can't do this shit!
You hired me as a director, not as your henchman.
Do you hear me? I can't fucking do this!
What? You refuse?
I fucking refuse!
You set the car on fire, right?
Now it's payback time! End of story. Let's do this.
Come on!
Over here. It's somewhere over here.
- Hey... - Yeah?
- What if they have armed guards? - Of course they do.
- What? - It's fine.
According to my information they're having lunch now.
Come on!
Come!
Come here!
Let me introduce Badoink.
One of the world's greatest trotters.
Fuck, it's big.
And it will be bigger. Hi, there.
This isn't funny, Vinny.
You hear me?
We just want to come in for some happy time.
- He's quiet, see? This won't be a problem. - Yeah.
Right?
A little food lurks the beast.
Let's see...
Here you go.
This is so fucked up...
It's like the most perverse nightmare I've ever had in my life.
What are you waiting for? Do it!
You do it!
This is absolutely insane.
You set the car on fire, OK? You should do this alone,
but I'm here to assist you because I'm nice.
You set it on fire. You will do more than I will.
A lot more than I will, OK? So let's do it.
Hi there!
Be my guest!
Come on!
OK, I'll do it.
If this ever comes out, I will kill you, Vinny.
Don't worry. I won't put this on my resume.
I'll kill you if anyone finds out!
- Open the glove compartment. - Why?
Open the glove compartment!
Could you hand me that? Hey!
You bastard!
Now we're brothers in blood!
- Brothers in blood? - Yep.
What happened was a must.
Sometimes you need to do unpleasant things in life. Tough shit! That's life!
I'll shoot you with a rifle if you tell anyone about this.
It's really bleeding here.
Mom!
Bosse, someone's here for you!
What?
Look who I found!
Hello, hello!
Have a seat!
- Are you ready? - Let's do it.